ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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