Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize