I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
