My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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