do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
