paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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