let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
