it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
