i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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