Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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