His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
