I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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