Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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