I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
