I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Randomize
