marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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