windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
