I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
