morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
false alarm. still invincible.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
