I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
