I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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