You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
