please come you make the beer taste better
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
