are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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