You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
