the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
