It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
