I wanna bring you to show and tell
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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