I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
