she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
birth control should be required to get into college
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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