Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
