it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
