ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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