My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
