Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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