WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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