when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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