Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
