I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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