She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
