Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this will be a night to untag.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize