i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
