my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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