marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
