oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize