Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
