Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
