dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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