$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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