I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
