i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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