I hate all girls vehemently.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
