I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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