I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
