I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize