Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
