do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
A bitchslap is in order.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
