what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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